Wednesday, 29 April 2015

Why I'm not a victim.

We're victims, right? To me a victim implies a person who is downtrodden, who has been defeated by whatever experiences they have had. A victim is to be pitied, they are to be supported because they can't do it on their own, a victim is weak. That's my point of view. Maybe it's not yours, maybe you see yourself as a victim and if so then that's fine - we all apply our own labels and meanings to things based on our own experience.

Some would say I'm a victim, today somebody said something which used the word victim. They were wrong, so very, very wrong. I'm not a victim. I experienced some appalling things which hurt me considerably and should never have happened. I have needed support to deal with those things, yes. Not because I couldn't do it on my own, I mean I coped with the abuse for many years and had no help to do it so to me that means I am not a victim.

Yes, it was horrible, yes, it terrified me, yes, I thought I would die because of it. Yes, it's left physical and emotional scars. Yes, I've needed counselling to come to terms with it and I'm still coming to terms with it. I think it'll take some time.

But, despite it all, one thing I am not is a victim. I am strong, brave and determined, I survived against some pretty tough odds. Nobody should be calling me a victim. The only person who can choose to call me a victim is me. I don't choose to be called a victim, not then, not now, not ever.

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